My Odyssey so far............

I dont know where I am heading to ....but still I am heading as I have been doing for long. I direct myself in some direction but time directs me in some other. Its my inability to not put myself going on in a particular direction . I have lost my ways umpteen times. Amazingly, despite all these deviations my life has been cool. I tried hard to overcome deviations but I couldn't.
Things look hazy from a distance and its very difficult to decide whether you should get into those . And the same has been happening with me. I proceeded towards things having a rosy picture in eyes about them but only proximity told me things were not as lucrative as I thought them to be. Dissuaded but optimistically, I kept inching towards and got them finally but of no use . They turned out to be hollow.
I never blamed my intuition for misleading me. Because I think if I become skeptical towards my intuition one day it will stop indicating anything and so many times it has been accurate too. I think perhaps it was me who couldn't decipher my intuitions well. I am embarked on my odyssey of life and enjoying every thing that come my way . I never look at things with a disgusting look rather I welcomed them. I fear what if lucrative things do not come across me for a considerable period . I will go mad facing odd ones . This fear has led me to develop a faculty within me which welcomes everything with an open heart.
Once I wanted to be a lecturer. Even I forced myself in the direction. Suddenly I realised that my responsibilities were in no mood to give me any more time and meanwhile somewhere in my mind I was thinking about MBA. I had filled in MAT form unconciously and one fine day I got Admission Letter for MAT exam. I took examination without single day's preparation, did questions only from reasoning , english aptitude ,data interpretationa , general awareness and touched only two questions from mathematics. I was declared to secure 87 percentile. How all these happened I never realised . Still I was thinking it be one another examination. I never knew that this time I was serious. Prospectus from different colleges started dropping in everyday and my father enquired me often as to where I was going to take admission. Initially I tried to avoid admission but increasing interest of my father compelled me to think in this direction. Once I decided to have admission two big questions started haunting me. Firstly , who will give me money to pursue my education? And secondly, is it wise to leave my thriving teaching business and get into MBA field where every thing is uncertain ? Like my father I am a big optimist and perhaps it was my optimism which drove me from bank to bank and plead for an education loan brandishing my credentials to the clumsy managers. I ran from post to pillar, tried to impress managers with my soft skills but all in vain. One day I met a person . He was a broker . He asked me if Iget him 5% of loan amount he can get me a loan. I had no other option but to go for it. Because I don't believe in improving others rather I strive to change myself on their tune. Why should I try to correct incorrigible things and waste my time and even if I succeed in correcting them what will I get in return ? Finally, apart from giving him his share I had to pledge some of my insurance bond papers which weren't required at all but the manager forced me to give to get the loan sanctioned.

And one fine morning I left for Bangalore to land up in National school of Business, a place of my wasted dreams. I took up study with the guys of the age I used to teach. Here I did a big mistake to understand them to be as naive I was. Most of them fresh from under graduation college were boisterous any clumsy. They resort to their old immature habits. Initially I felt breathless. I felt like running away from there but later I realised quitting was not the right decision. Then I prepared myself to take on them. Even earlier I was able to tackle them but I was not in the habit of all those things. Months rolled on , the most popular guys among the students and faculty turned worst ever while I was slowly going up towards success. By then I had created a niche for me. With the change of season changed friends and foes. But then I never looked back . I had decided to march ahead alone. I was inspired by Rabindranath's poem "Ekla chalo Re". I never tried to flatter anybody to get instant success and applause because I know these type of accolades are temporary in nature and would not last long. I accepted everybody with an open heart and tried to help them out in whatever possible ways I could. Here I got some all weather good friends too. I look upon them as very good friends because they have always helped me where I was right and have dissuaded me equally where I was wrong. This is the reason I call them my best friends. But here is the interesting part of this friendship, even my best friends do not know that they are my best friends because I never acknowledged this truth before them. I was scared of being them more possessive to know this fact . I never wanted them to be attached . Because attachment is the thing which leads one to ill ways. Even here I don't want to disclose their names I have a conviction that I will continue to get all support from them and they will continue to be my best friends.